If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
