Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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