my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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