Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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