That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
