Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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