i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Someone signed my nipple.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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