meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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