she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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