every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
