he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
