I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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