Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.