just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.