Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
