Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
