why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he thought i was a dude.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
