3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
