Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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