the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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