There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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