he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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