You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
