Sponge bath it is.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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