So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
