we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
