U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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