My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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