my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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