that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
