Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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