I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
