I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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