My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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