Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
