He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
