So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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