im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
