So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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