i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
