if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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