somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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