she was so not down for the gang bang
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
