dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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