I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
