I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
