just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.