I hate all girls vehemently.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.