you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
