But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My first STD was from a foam party
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
