i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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