you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
