I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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