Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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