is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
