You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
