i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize