4 words: hood of his car
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
