I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
