so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
