just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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